You're Not Here

k so.... i heard this song by Akira Yamaoka during the first strip of ending credits at the end of one of my fave movies ever 'Silent Hill.' this is a very... different song. so i picture me on a seedy dive bar stage and for some reason i'm all decked out in 80's gear. big hair, big black scrunchie, leather vest with a ton of chains and zippers, and i have a leather skirt on but underneath that i got on awesome black mesh tights. and OF COURSE, if ur gonna go 80's, u have to wear the big black boot-heels. oh, and for some reaosn, my hair is big, curly, and BLONDE. lol. and i have the band behind me, with the bassist, lead guitarist, and drummer. its pretty awesome. so... yerp thats it. oh, this is so random, but today my moms fiance Seth threatened to take a massive crap in my room... ?! i dont know why, and it was SUPER awkward wen he said it... oh, and my new phrase is 'herp derp' yeah dont ask... :)

My Fave Things and Stuff :)

yeah this is just cuz i was bored to death and such so imma name all my fave things, and the things that annoy me the most.
LIKES:

Colors: purple, black, electric blue
Movies: Shutter Island, Precious, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Silent Hill, Law Abiding Citizen, Inglourious Basterds
Girl Names: Anya, Cheyenne, Shosanna, Faith, Celeste, Tuesday, Rebekah, Gwendollyn, Melody, Nina
Boy Names: Riley, Casey, Chord, Kurt, Bloom, Jeremy, Kasper, Walter, Aaron, Shay, Julian
Actors: BEN FOSTER <3, Jay Baruchel, Gerard Butler, Leo DiCaprio, Jake Epstein, Kyle Gallner, James McAvoy
Actresses: Natalie Portman, Melanie Laurent, Radha Mitchell
Singers: Stef Lang, Jake Epstein, Lady Gaga, Britney Spears
Bands: Glee Cast, Three Days Grace, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
School Subjects: History, Gym, Lunch
Hobbies: DANCE <3 (hip-hop, ballet), videogames, reading
Books: any Melody Carlson book
Potential Careers: archaeologist, ballet dancer on Broadway, circus performer, psychologist/sociologist
Shoes: my Ugg boots, Ugg slippers, and super-tall Converse
TV Shows: Cake Boss, Glee <3, Degrassi, Spongebob,
Videogames: TOMB RAIDER!!! <3 <3 <3, Resident Evil, Mirror's Edge, Grand Theft Auto
Holidays: Christmas, Halloween
Food: Wendy's double Baconator, pasta with butter and cheese, green bean casserole
School Clubs: Dance Team, Theater Guild
Movie I REALLY Want to See: Black Swan, The Mechanic

DISLIKES:

loud chewing, feet, other people's spit, snoring, loud breathing, when people scratch fingernails on those hologram paper thingies, the sound of other people kissing, friends that hug you too hard they end up hurting your boobs, people that ask way too many questions, people that keep wakin me up when i'm tryin to sleep, people that make dumb jokes, catty b*tches, people that try to different by criticizing other people who they think are 'unoriginal', people that refuse hugs, Math class, people that call things 'gay' or 'retarded', people that are WAY too sensitive

Circus

well this is a Britney Spears song. i picture myself at a classic circus. u know, the ones that smell like elephant poo? but anyways... i picture myself in the middle of the ring in an empty circus tent. well, its me and like 10 or 11 other people, who are the background dancers. my hair is curly and short and a little darker brown that it already is. i have on a white strapless corset with like black short shorts, plus fishnet stockings and of course, i have to have the classic black pumps. oh yeah, if u dont know wat pumps are, its another term for high heels. my eye makeup is heavy and black and my lipstick is beautiful crimson. oh yeah i almost forgot, my corset has like 5 black buttons going down it and i have on a black bow tie choker necklace. and it is freaking awesome. haha wen i saw this music video, for a split-second i considered, in the future, joining a classic circus like that. come to think of it, that wouldnt be so bad, flyin around on them ropes and wires and wearin flashy costumes and stuff. i can actually see myself doing that...

I Hate Everything About You

well i dont really have a fantasy to go with this song by Three Days Grace, but i just think of random stuff. this is a very deep, dark, bleak, emotional song that i cant stop listening to. the chorus is: "I... hate... everything about you. Why... do... I love you?" and the singer says that twice. it makes me think of past relationships, even tho i've only had 3 and 2 of them werent even super important. hell, i didnt even kiss 2 of them. haha. well i guess this song remind me of my last one and stuff like that. like i remember i went thru a phase toward the end of it where i get annoyed/pissed at almost everything he did for some reason. and i found out why i did a few days later... freaking PMS. hahahaha. well i guess the chorus basically described (and still KINDA does) my exact feelings. okay, call me dramatic and make fun of me and stuff like that, but i'll be laughin my butt off wen ur burnin in HELL! haha.

If Eyes Could Speak

okay well for this one i not only picture myself, but i picture a new but good friend of mine. his name is Brandon Hoffman and is one of the nicest seniors i'll ever meet :) and this song basically means that a guy likes a girl, but he cant tell her even tho he realllly wants to, and that he wishes that 'eyes could speak cuz one look would say everything.' i picture Brandon in this song becuz he likes this one girl in theater guild named Gina who i've known since elementary school and she's pretty cool. they're pretty much perfect for eachother, in my opinion, cuz i know she likes Green Day and cool stuff like that and so does he. and apparently he gets super nervous wen he talks to her so i'm tryin to help him. well anyways... my fantasy shows both me and my crush named Troy sittin in the back of Mr. Turley's art room, and us like joking and stuff and me REALLY wantin to tell him i like him and stuff. then it switched to Brandon and Gina alone in the auditorium and sittin on the chorus risers on the stage and him wantin to tell her. i dont picture anythin else, so thats it. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!! i got 2 pairs of Uggs, the Glee christmas album, nail polish, wacky red and purple hair dye, a new belt, AWESOME headphones, a Hot Topic gift card, a lady bug pillow pet, and SO much more! haha good thing my birthday is next sunday, which means more presents! haha and i'll be 15!!!!!! :)

Me Against the Music

yeah this will prolly become a daily thing cuz i have nothin else to do. facebook gets boring after a while. but anyways, i have a fantasy to go with a song called 'me against the music' by Britney Spears and Madonna. i'm wearin wat Britney is wearin, but with a little added twist, like maybe shorts or a skirt or somethin instead of pants. but anyway... like the music video, i'm in a warehouse type building and i'm dancin thru aisles (if thats the right aisle, like the ones in grocery stores. if not, sorry) and i'm all up against walls and crap and pullin at my awesome suspenders and such. and i'm also doin awesome dance movies with like a chair and for some reason i also have a cane (no my medical condition is perfectly fine but i guess its for effect) and like the music video, i'm also on a wooden swing in a room with brown leaves on the floor. the first time i heard this song was while i was watchin Glee, which is my new obsessed, along with Cake Boss. i am fallin in freakin LOVE with every Glee Cast song and Britney Spears. make fun f it, and i will knee u in ur balls (whether ur a dude or a chick) and trust me i will do it. haha. just ask some people who i've hit 'there' before :)

Toy Soldier

So for this one I am alone on my high school auditorium stage and um dancin to Britney Spears' 'Toy Soldier' to my whole theater guild. I'm wearin my normal everyday clothes and it's just me, the music, and the lit stage, and I'm doin a mix of my dance class and my dance team routine, which fit PERFECTLY. the guild is cheerin me on and I'm super happy and stuff. yeah this is gonna sound reallllly corny but deal with it. I've recently sparked a HUGE passion for dancin and singing, and I've found that when I dance I forget about ALL of my problems i have, whether it's parents, grades, friend problems, and past and current love interest problems. it's so freeing, and I'm actually startin to think bout a dance career. for once in my life, I'm considering another career other than archaeology and traveling. I mean I will ALWAYS wanna travel, but I seriously picture myself dancing on a stage (no not a stripper stage lol) and bein perfectly happy.

Baby Hit Me One More Time

okay so when i listen to the Glee version of Britney Spears's 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' i picture myself on my high school stage and in a dance studio with a huge marble dance floor. i'm wearin what Britney Spears and Lea Michele are wearin in the music videos: adidas sweatpants with a matching sports bra and i have GREAT abs haha. my hair is longer and everythin is pulled from my face except for a little bit of my bangs and i'm just jammin out to the song and i'm dancin all around the place. oh, i'm also wearin either adidas or sketchers sneaker and its AWESOME.

a new post so soon?

i know i just posted yesterday, but deal with it. i'm bored, so i feel like bloggin. oh, and forgive my bad grammar and spellin, and if u cant forgive me, deal with it. so... i had a HUGE fight with my mom and seth today, i said i hated them, and i stayed in my room for about 6 hours and nearly starved to death until my mom made me eat chinese food with them. i'm currently watchin a degrassi episode from... season 9, i think? and i am OBSESSED with Glee and Cake Boss now. the people in Cake Boss are italians from hoboken, new jersey, but are shockingly more sophisticated than the Jersey Shore a-holes and whores. i wont listen to anythin except for Glee, and since they did a special on britney spears, i'm listenin to her too, especially 'toy soldier.' i even have a dance to that song! oh i have been told that i've been gettin better at singing so YAY!!!! haha. so... watchin degrassi and glee nonstop is literally makin me crave extreme high school drama, but with an added musical twist. haha i even have these fantasies that go with certain songs when i listen to them. for glee's "i;ve had the time of my life" i picture myself with my crush singing the duet on the high school stage, with background dancers and stuff. for degrassi's "life is a show" i once again picture myself on the high school stage doin awesome dance moves and singing my heart out. for jason derulo's "in my head" i am dancin in a red dress and silver heels at a high school dance, and as soon as the song's chorus starts, an old crush sweeps me in his arms and we dance in a big circle made by the crowd. and my last one, stef lang's "be gentle. i have 2 fantasies for this one. one, where i'm singin on my high school stage with a guitar and its just me on the stage and i'm singing to a certain guy in the audience... and my last one, where, for some weird reason, i'm with an acoustic outside my exes bedroom window in the middle of winter and im singing it to him and he comes out and kisses and hugs me. hahahahahahahahahahaha! okay, criticize my song fantasies and i'll hurt u in ur sleep. come on, like YOU'VE never had a song fantasy before. admit it, u have. we all have... oh in case u wana find the songs, here's the artists and the titles <3 :)

(Be Gentle by Stef Lang)

(In My Head by Jason Derulo)

(Life is a Show by Degrassi's Cassie Steele)

(Time of My Life by the Glee Cast)

because i can

so...... i like high school. but i HATE latin so im currently in the process of pullin it from my whole schedule and replacin it with a study hall. i wanna take chorus next semester cuz i have recently sparked a passion for singing. the thing i do the most now is hum. oh, and im dancing a lot too. i am seriously falling in love with singing and dancing and even theater stuff, hence me bein in theater guild. so..... i am no longer in any contact whatsoever with Luke, which upsets me but its my fault so i guess theres no changing it. but im fillin up that void with new friends, like Troy Johnson (another senior who i KINDA have teeny tiny feelings for) and my newest friend is Brandon Hoffman, who kinda sorta likes me but not a whole lot so we're just friends, and Drew Doriani, who will not leave me alone and is always lingering around me and my friends so im gettin a little freaked out. i mean, ur nice to a guy for a few weeks and ur JUST friends but now i think i have a stalker so now i am reallllllly scared cuz he's a little weird and effed up in the head..... so now i gotta talk to him :/ so...... CHRISTMAS IN A WEEK!!!!!!! i cant wait!!!! i want uggs, mall gift cards, itunes cards, and i just basically want shoes, music, and clothes. so materialistic right? well i know so SHUT THE HELL UP! hm... i still want 3 tattoos, i might get my nose pierced again (this time with an actual ring in it) and i wanna dye my hair either red (like rainbow red), purple, black, or electric blue. i'll prolly get it black tho. oh yeah i almost forgot... IMMA BE 15 SOON!!!!!! JANUARY 2ND BEE YOTCH!!!!! haha i always wanted to say that. k im done bye :)

AGGHHHH!!!!!!!

ugh! i. effing. HATE. parents! and especially people who are engaged to ur real parent and they act like they own u and theyre ur real parent, but they arent. obviously, im effing pissed as effing hell. i wanna cure SO bad on this post but then the 'parents' might see it and then i'll be dead. dance class was effing boring and tiring, and my instructor made us do the routine OVER and OVER. i know that thats theyre jobs, but give us a break after doin it 10 times would ya? so basically everybody (with the exception of a FEW friends) got on my nerves today. the things that annoy me the most that all my friends do: talk in super whiny voices, chew with their mouths open, chew loudly, breathe loudly and heavily, say random schist every day, talk too loud, talk too quiet, and, the thing that annoys me the absolute MOST, ask a ton of questions. yeah thats a lot, but i cant stand it! oh, and a closing message, reserved for parents: LEAVE US THE HELL ALONE! WE LIKE IT!

UNTITLED

so yeah... christmas is on the way. i'm hearin carols already, despite the fact that thanksgiving is only a few days away. but somehow, i know exactly wat i want for christmas. yeah dont ask haha. i want dark brown ankle Ugg boots, mall/hot topic gift cards (hot topic is my fave store EVER!) an itunes card and stuff, droid 2 cell phone, candy, and some other stuff. so yeah... thanksgiving is in... 3 days and i'm goin to seth's mom's house and its gonna be so awkard. dontcha hate it when ur at a family thingy and ur the youngest and all the adults start talkin bout... adult-ish things that u dont even understand? i just tend to space out, unless someone asks me a question, then i say somethin along the lines of 'uh-huh, yeah sure' and stuff. and i gotta start practicin wat imma say when they ask me wat grade i'm in and how its all going, and then i gotta deal with my mom makin jokes bout wat clubs i'm in, my new friends, and my grades while i blush and get a little mad at her inside. face it, it happens to everyone. then i chew my food awkwardly and space out and i start thinkin bout my homework for the break. why do teachers give us homework on breaks? it IS called a BREAK after all. i got a huge Latin assignment due on monday which i havent even started yet. so.. yeah bye.

So... Yeah.

okay so high school is goin good. i made a new friend named Drew, who's a senior. i am on the dance team, in theater guild, and i'm still thinkin bout color guard. um... well i am no longer the girlfriend of Luke. ya know, the dude with the Converse? he put twizzlers in my mailbox for no reason... yeah dont ask. well we are no longer even friend cuz of my stupid mistakes but what's done cant be undone so... yeah. haha although i do kinda wish i hadn't said the things i said to him and that we were still friends cuz let's face it, we were great friends a few months ago. but anyways... my mother and Seth are currently on their way back home from seein a play in Philly and they're gettin me a Baconator from Wendy's <3. hahaha. i might get my nose pierced again and i want 3 tattoos. one on my left thumb knuckle, binary code on my left shoulder, and a big one goin all the way down my right arm. um... thats pretty much it for now. i'll prolly blog again in a few months. haha :)

Another Day, Another Test.

Well, once again, MORE tests today! There's a week of school left, yet we keep getting stupid tests and projects. Teachers suck. Sunburn is still killing my upper back, and it's feezing in this basement. But it's boiling hot outside. Where in the nine circles of Hell is the perfect temperature?! On there, like that, or so, on your there (whatever that means), on things. The last sentence, courtesy of Mr. John Odell, the funniest and best Science teacher ever.

Why I Blog, I Don't Know.

So... I was opening one of the school doors today, and... it opened about an inch or two, then it bounced back and smacked me in the head. They should put bubble wrap on the doors or something, y'know? Um... I had an unhealthy helping of chps and lemonade for lunch. I can't stop listening to "Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence (why is it so hard for people to spell that?). We are watching Apollo 13 in Science class, which is pretty boring... on there. Hmm... Math finals later this week. I'm now TOO worried. I get the general idea of most of the things. Yesterday was awesome. I went swimming with Luke, got a sunburn, ate chips and burgers and hotdogs, and watched crap TV, all on my 4-month anniversary with Luke, which is weird, because it fell on Memorial Day. Um... yeah... on there. I'm done, so you can stop reading this now. If you keep reading this, you are a loser.

When Hunger Attacks... and Stuff...

Oh, I'm starving! NOTHING to eat here. Okay, you're going to have to cut me some flipping slack because I don't really know what else to put on here. So... yeah... on there.